In my brain I feel pain. Why i don't know. It comes and goes I guess the fields are changing for maturity. I'm 53 yrs of age and at some point i can expect these things that are changing my mind. But for the most part i became an introvert by here say and should have never adopted it. Its been hard to be seen and not have a voice. Now i have to change because I am not with him any more. I am used for being out spoken like i have been. Life for me will be more simpler. It will take just some time.